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Tag: satire

Dick Cheney: Russian apartment bombings inside job “complete nonsense”

Kevin Barrett

Pot Calls Kettle White Cheney, Putin shoot down “conspiracy theories” Sundance, WyomingAppropriated Press  At a hastily-convened press conference outside his home today, former Vice President Dick Cheney absolved Vladimir Putin and the Russian state security services of responsibility for the 1999 apartment bombings that brought Putin to power and launched the Russian invasion of Chechnya. Responding to Putin’s statement that 9/11 inside job theories are “complete nonsense,” Dick Cheney thanked Putin for his support and added, “Vlad didn’t do those apartment bombings either, no matter what the conspiracy theorists say. That’s complete nonsense. State security services and their professional-assassin contractors just…

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A little patriotic ditty celebrating the exploits of CIA terrorist Raymond Davis

Kevin Barrett

CIA “secret agent man” Raymond Davis was arrested after murdering two Pakistanis. It turned out he had been organizing fake “Islamic extremist attacks,” blowing up innocent people in mosques and markets. The US apparently forced Pakistan to release Davis by threatening to nuke them. Here is a version of “Secret Agent Man” dedicated to Raymond Davis — and the a-holes who sent him.    Helen Caldicott told me recently that men kill and blow things up out of sexual frustration. But Freud knew a century ago that aggression was anal, not sexual. The psychopathic control freaks who are destroying our…

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Naksa Day surprise: I now support a Jewish state!

Kevin Barrett

From the moment I started learning about the question of Palestine until today, I never supported the idea of a Jewish State. Instead, I always supported the One State Solution: Let Israel-Palestine be a state for all its people, including the Palestinian ethnic-cleansing victims, without any discrimination based on religion or ethnicity. But as of today, Naksa Day 2011, I have changed my mind. I now support a Jewish State. What changed my mind? Today I read a terrific article by Franklin Lamb (who will insha’allah be a guest on tomorrow’s radio show) and watched the famous video of Helen…

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“Full Fathom Five Bin Laden Lies”

Kevin Barrett

An open letter to Richard Perle, self-styled “Prince of Darkness” Dear Mr. Perle, I am writing to beg your forgiveness for the accompanying poem and photoshopped image blending your already hideous face with the photoshopped “dead Bin Laden” image recently exposed by the Guardian as a fraud. I suspect you will not like the caption, “That was Perle shot through both eyes” any better than the image — which, I must admit, is not very flattering. So allow me to explain. During the past few days, the American public has been coerced (by the Zionist-dominated media) into a frenzy of…

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Terrorism, Hell! Test the First Responders for Witchcraft!

Kevin Barrett

Guest blog post by Cott N. Mather, Under-Assistant Public Relations Executive, Department of Homeland Security Did you know that the 9/11 health bill requires sick first responders to have their names run through the FBI’s terrorism watch list before they can receive treatment? Checking out sick 9/11 first responders for terrorism was a good start.  But we Homeland Security professionals know that this bill does not go nearly far enough. To fully secure our homeland against its implacable enemies, we need to find out whether any of these supposedly heroic first responders are actually witches in disguise. To that end,…

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Where will it end?

Kevin Barrett

WHERE WILL IT END? How will we know when the “war on terror” is over? How could the folks who storyboarded 9/11 and the “war on terror” possibly storyboard their way out of it? How can you end a war against an abstract noun? Here’s how some previous wars ended.   Can you imagine a “war is over” scenario for the so-called “war on terror”?  If not, it will go on forever, so better start imagining! As John and Yoko said, “war is over if you want it.” Al Qaeda Surrenders“We’re Giving Up On Humanity” Obama: Long National “War On…

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TSA Tips for Travelers: Or, How to Stop Worrying and Love Letting Us Touch Your Junk

Kevin Barrett

[Note: TruthJihad blog always attempts to prevent a fair and balanced view of issues related to the War on Terror. In order to do so, we occasionally invite contributions from those whose views we would ordinarily oppose. Today, due to widespread public rage against TSA groping and naked body scanners, we felt obliged to invite the TSA to respond.] TSA Tips for Travelers: Or, How to Stop Worrying and Love Letting Us Touch Your Junk Guest blog post by Vora Rephilia, Assistant Pubic Relations Officer, Transportation Security Administration Greetings, travelers! We at the Transportation Security Administration are dedicated to making…

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Ahmadinejad plugs Truth Jihad

Kevin Barrett

The lackeys of Zio-American imperialism may be reading Lolita in Tehran…but President Ahmadinejad has better taste. He’s engrossed in Truth Jihad: My Epic Struggle Against the 9/11 Big Lie by Kevin Barrett, the world’s most notorious Muslim 9/11 truth author and radio host. “When I called 9/11 a big lie, I got the idea from Dr. Barrett,” the Iranian president explained. “This hilarious book rips the pants off the 9/11 conspiracy and exposes its private parts to the whole world. And besides, it is good practicing for my English.” A spokesman for the Iranian Ministry of Culture quickly interrupted and…

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Osama endorses Obama’s “kill Americans” plan: “Waste ’em all and let God sort ’em out!”

Kevin Barrett

February 5th 2010Undisclosed location northeast of western South Waziristan (AP) Supporters of President Obama were shocked and dismayed yesterday by a Washington Post report that the President has embraced Bush’s policy of killing US citizens allegedly involved in terrorist actions abroad. But it now appears that Obama has received enthusiastic support from an unexpected source: Osama Bin Laden himself. In a new audiotape delivered by bearded courier to TruthJihad.com, the reclusive al-Qaeda leader is heard enthusiastically endorsing Obama’s “kill Americans” policy. Here is a translation of Bin Laden’s statement. In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful. All praise…

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Ask a former Islamic terrorist

Kevin Barrett

During my recent debate with evangelical Islamophobe Walid Shoebat (listen here)  I noticed that he responds to all questions with pretty much the same set of stock answers. When asked about the Illuminati, the differences between the different monotheistic scriptures, or the definition of terrorism in general, Shoebat’s answer was always the same: “Blah blah blah Islamic terrorism.” Since Shoebat and his handlers are making so much money off this schtick, they might as well start an advice column. (Apologies to the Onion.) Ask a Former Islamic TerroristA new advice column I’m ghostwriting for Walid Shoebat Dear Former Islamic Terrorist,I…

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