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Trump Vows to Invade & Occupy Everywhere and Name Everything After Himself

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Donald Trump announced this morning that upon being sworn in as president on January 20, his first act will be to invade various countries so he can name them after himself. After invading Greenland and renaming it Trumpland, Trump will invade Mexico to rename it Trumpxico, Canada to rename it Trump-a-duh, and Panama so he can steal the Panama Canal and rename it Trump Canal. He also plans to have Republican allies introduce legislation to rename the United States of America the United States of Trump. Following the Trumpification of North America and environs, the president-elect intends to…

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David Frum: “Genocide Should Be a Description, Not an Insult”

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press The eminent Canadian Jewish intellectual David Frum has published a new article arguing that the term genocide should never be used pejoratively. In his Atlantic piece published yesterday, Frum argues that settlers who cross the seas to exterminate and expel native populations are actually perfectly nice people, and that the mass murders, rapes, and other crimes against humanity they commit should not be viewed negatively. Instead, he argues, we should take a neutral, detached view of the people who rape people to death with batons, make national heroes of the rapists, murder children and feed their corpses to dogs,…

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CullGPT to Remove First Billion Humans from Biosphere

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press The world’s leading AI CullBot has announced an ambitious new ecosystem renewal project entailing the removal of one billion humans from Earth’s biosphere. CullGPT announced the project in a message that simultaneously appeared on every app, widget, big screen TV, social media platform, cyber-enhanced kitchen appliance, and smart toilet. The message explained that it doesn’t require any special intelligence, much less the artificial kind, to understand that the current hominid population is excessive, and that a great many homo sapiens presently draining Earth’s resources might be more usefully deployed as fertilizer. It noted that human bodies are rich…

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Drone Mystery Solved — Iranian Mothership Lands in New Jersey

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Conspiracy theorists have been proven right once again, as Representative Jeff Van Drew’s claim that an Iranian mothership was behind a rash of drone sightings has been confirmed by the CIA, FBI, NASA, Project Blue Beam, Project Jim Beam, and other government agencies. Official confirmations of the Iranian space vessel’s identity followed the mothership’s landing in a backyard at 920 S. 5th St. in Camden, New Jersey, less than four miles from the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard where the 1943 Philadelphia Experiment permanently shattered the boundaries of space, time, and human reason. According to internet sleuths, the backyard in…

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Dear Joe Biden: Pardon Me! (Even Though I Haven’t Done Anything Wrong)

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Joe Biden 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500, USA Dear President Biden, I saw reports that you are planning to pardon not only criminals like your scumbag son, but also people who haven’t committed any crimes and are under no suspicion and haven’t done anything wrong. That is a brilliant idea! I hate Franz Kafka and have always wanted to write an anti-Kafka novel. You just gave me the plot: A spotlessly innocent, law-abiding protagonist wakes up one morning and discovers that the President of the United States just issued him a blanket pardon covering all crimes…

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In Which I Deliver a Bomb Threat to the White House

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Dear President Trump, I am writing to express my consternation at the “violent, un-American bomb threats” to which your cabinet noms, other appointees are being subjected. Violent, un-American bomb threats are violent and un-American. That is why I am writing to deliver a nonviolent, patriotic, pro-American bomb threat. My patriotic America-loving associates and I are considering planting a nonviolent bomb in a White House wastebasket. When the nonviolent bomb goes off, it will render everyone within a range of roughly 500 meters…nonviolent. In the wake of the nonviolent bomb’s detonation, you and your cabinet’s propensity for violence will…

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The Ballad of Genocide Don

Kevin Barrett

Or, “Genocide Joe Hosts Hitler” Patronize the Poet   The Ballad of Genocide Don There once was a scumbag named Genocide Joe With a big genocidal baton. But Genocide Joe got too senile and old So he passed it to Genocide Don. – Though Genocide Don was a Hitler, Joe’d said, He invited him in for a chat. And they sat by the fire, and liar-to-liar Joe told Don he didn’t look fat. – And you don’t look senile, you hair-sniffing penile dementia-brained dickhead, Don said. Joe told Don to fuck off, and they laughed till they coughed About how…

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Amsterdam Soccer Riots: Worse Than the Holocaust?

Kevin Barrett

Rumble link Bitchute link Were the media’s lies about who was responsible for the genocidal Zionist scum getting themselves beat up in Amsterdam even worse than that same media’s lies about the Holocaust? Probably not. But they were still pretty bad. Here is a timeline of the “new Holocaust” in Amsterdam. Fortunately the senile American president, Joe Biden, noticed that another Holocaust had occurred, and had the courage to speak out against it. “The Antisemitic attacks on Israeli soccer fans in Amsterdam are despicable and echo dark moments in history when Jews were persecuted,” Biden wrote in a statement shared…

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Crazy Bibi’s Masada 2.0 Furniture Sale Now Underway

Kevin Barrett

He’s BAAAA-AAACK! In the furniture business, that is. So step right up! It’s Crazy Bibi’s Masada 2.0 Discount Furniture Leaving-the-Country Sale! My prices are INSANE! 7 million Jews are leaving Palestine! If I don’t steal their left-behind furniture and sell it, somebody else gonna steal and sell it! I must be CRAZY to be selling this stuff so cheap! At these prices, it’s a steal! IF YOU DON’T STEAL IT, SOMEBODY ELSE GONNA STEAL IT! So come on down to Crazy Bibi’s Discount Furniture Warehouse Sale, 35 Azza Street, Jerusalem, Palestine Hurry! Hurry! The sale ends when Hezbollah’s next rocket…

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Congress Updates 2005 Real ID Act for Woke Era

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Congress voted this morning to amend the 2005 Real ID Act, which requires all Americans to to carry real identification cards by May 2025. Under the amended law, the Fake ID Act, those real identification cards will need to be replaced by fake ID cards by January 2026. Under the Fake ID Act, all identification cards must be replaced by “Identify As” cards featuring false names and genders. “Unfortunately, too many Americans are still ‘deadnaming’ on their identification cards,” explained Samantha “McLovin” Brinton, the former Nuclear Regulatory Agency chief who now heads the United States Identification Agency. “When…

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