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Mandatory Palestinian Holocaust Denial Bills Draw Bipartisan Support

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Bills introduced yesterday in the Florida State Legislature and US Congress would outlaw references to the Palestinian Holocaust—and make Palestinian Holocaust denial mandatory. Under the federal bill, supported by President Biden, violators would be fined up to one million dollars and imprisoned for up to 30 years. The Florida bill, written by allies of Governor Ron DeSantis, imposes the death penalty on Palestinian Holocaust affirmers. The DeSantis bill also includes an enhancement provision specifically targeting violators of Palestinian ethnicity. Under the bill, if an individual of Palestinian ethnicity refuses to deny the Palestinian Holocaust, that person’s entire extended…

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Anthony Blinken Offers SHOCKING Admission in “Holocaust Survivor” Speech

Kevin Barrett

US Secretary of State Anthony Blinken touched down this morning in Doha, Qatar, to negotiate the release of Americans held by Hamas. Shortly before Blinken’s speech, it seems that the Emir of Qatar, Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani, dosed the US Secretary of State’s coffee with scopolamine, colloquially known as “truth serum.” Below is a text of Blinken’s speech. Speech by Anthony Blinken in Doha, Qatar October 20, 2023 Good morning. My name is Anthony Blinken. Today is my 996th day as U.S. Secretary of State. And this is the 839th time I’ve flown to a foreign country and…

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Ex-Intel Officials: Teenage Hookers, Laptop, Ukrainian Payoff and Cocaine Found at White House Doesn’t Belong to Hunter Biden

Kevin Barrett

It’s Probably Just Russian Disinfo, Say the Experts Dissociated Press More than 50 former intelligence officials have signed a letter casting doubt on reports that the two teenage hookers, incriminating laptop, pile of Ukrainian-sourced cash, and spilled cocaine found yesterday at the White House has anything to do with Hunter Biden. Instead, they say, the story “has all the classic earmarks of a Russian information operation.” While the letter’s signatories presented no evidence, they said their national security experience had made them “deeply suspicious that the Russian government played a significant role in this case” and cited several elements of…

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Trump, Kennedy Struck Down by “Magic Bullet”

Kevin Barrett

Experts say improbable trajectory was purely coincidental Dissociated Press The simultaneous assassinations of leading 2024 presidential contenders Donald J. Trump and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has stunned the nation. Perhaps inevitably, conspiracy theories have been circulating on social media almost as fast as they can be removed by trust-and-safety experts. All scientists and fact-checkers agree that those conspiracy theories are baseless and unsubstantiated. According to ballistics experts, the bullet that traversed Trump’s skull at Mar-a-Lago, turned 180 degrees, and traveled over 2500 miles to Malibu, California, shattering RFK Jr.’s kitchen window and penetrating his chest, has been recovered from a…

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Pentagon Killer AI Experiment Works—Too Well

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Informed sources report that yesterday the Joint Chiefs of Staff turned over all command-and-control functions to the Frontier supercomputer in the Pentagon basement running an AI program called Terminal Terminator. Unfortunately, the AI was programmed to “kill evildoers.” Within microseconds of being switched on, the program had begun seizing control of US military assets and using them to destroy the US military itself, as well as allied intelligence agencies, think tanks, and governmental and diplomatic facilities. George W. Bush, who was immediately killed by the AI program, could not be reached for comment.    

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Pentagon Reveals Chinese Spy Balloon Was “Weaponized Hyperinflated Condom”

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press A Pentagon spokesperson reported Wednesday that the Chinese spy balloon shot down off South Carolina last week was a “Weaponized Hyperinflated Condom” (WHC) that posed a serious threat to America’s national virility. According to the report, the Chinese have developed a new polymer-layering nanotechnology that can be sprayed on the outside of an ordinary condom, giving it incredible strength and allowing it to be inflated to enormous sizes. “By tumescing it with helium and sending it into American airspace, the Chinese demonstrated their ability to put a gargantuan phallus right there over our heads. It’s a gigantic ‘fuck-you’…

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Biden, Trump Used Classified Docs as Toilet Paper – Report

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press President Biden and former President Trump are facing Justice Department investigations after security camera footage surfaced showing both men using classified documents as toilet paper. In the wake of the revelations, based on footage from restroom security cameras installed by multiple agencies including the CIA, NSA, FBI, ADL, and ASPCA,  Attorney General Merrick Garland has appointed former Justice Department official Robert Hur to lead a DOJ probe. The leaked footage shows Biden and Trump performing hygienic functions with “secret” and “top secret” documents on multiple occasions in April, 2020, when America faced a toilet paper shortage due to…

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Santos Attacks “Anti-Semitic Holocaust-Denying Homophobes” Who Are Badgering Him to Resign

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Republican Congressperson George Santos lashed out yesterday at the growing chorus calling on him to resign. Speaking at an impromptu press conference at Foneys Club in Lower Manhattan, Santos said that anyone who doubts that he is a gay Jewish Holocaust survivor is an “anti-Semitic Holocaust-denying homophobe.” Santos pointed out that according to woke (TM) identity politics, people are free to choose their own identities regardless of the biological and historical facts, and that anyone who points out those facts must be permanently canceled. “If I’m a man and say I’m a woman, I’m a woman, and you’d damn…

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Bill Gates: “COVID Vaccines Are The Final Solution.” ADL: “That’s Anti-Semitic!”

Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press The Anti-Defecation League has demanded that Bill Gates apologize for calling COVID vaccines “the Final Solution.” At a press conference in Basel, Switzerland, ADL chief Jonathan Greenbutt read a prepared statement flaying Gates for his insensitivity to  Jewish suffering.  “There is only one Final Solution,” Greenbutt intoned, “and that is the sacred six-million-victim big-H Holocaust. If Bill Gates thinks he can erase the memory of Hitler’s six million Jewish victims by killing six billion people and calling that the Final Solution, he needs to know that he’s being..how shall I put it…anti-Semitic.” Greenbutt explained that the ADL owns the…

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