“Use the FIRST PERSON pronoun when referring to us, or else!” Dissociated Press The University of Minnesota has become the first American campus to recognize the rights of subjexuals, a class of oppressed persons who identify as first person pronouns. The decision modifies the previous policy, under which students were only allowed to choose from a list of third person pronouns on the campus website: He/him/his, none, prefer not to specify, she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, or ze/zir/zirs. They could also specify their gender identity as one of the following: Agender, gender nonconforming, genderqueer, man, nonbinary, prefer not to specify, two spirit, woman,…
FULL ARTICLETag: satire
ISIS threatens Alex Jones: “Grow that beard longer or WE WILL BEHEAD YOU!”
Dissociated Press Is ISIS plotting an attack on Alex Jones? In a new video released by Rita Kuntz of SHITE Intelligence Group, a vicious-looking villain with a big black bushy shariah-compliant beard brandishes a glittering scimitar and inveighs against the popular talk show host’s “pathetic scruffy little attempt to produce facial hair.” “While we appreciate Alex’s decision to convert to Islam, signified by his effort to put some manly hair on that pudgy little baby face, the fact is that to be fully shariah compliant, beards need to be at least 16 centimeters in length,” scowling ISIS spokesvillain Abdul Ibn…
FULL ARTICLER U in a Patriotic State? (4th of July special)
Super-patriot Kevin Barrett, who sacrificed his academic career for the Constitution, interviews Jill Gonzalez of WalletHub.com about the relative patriotism of various American states. See: https://wallethub.com/edu/most-patriotic-states/13680/
FULL ARTICLETrump issues permanent pre-emptive self pardon
(Dissociated Press) In a long-anticipated move, Donald Trump announced today that he has permanently and pre-emptively pardoned himself for all crimes he has committed, is in the process of committing, is currently planning, or may commit in the future. Speaking at an impromptu press conference at Russian Mafiya headquarters on the top floor of Trump Tower, Trump added that he is extending the pardon to excuse himself not only for felonies, misdemeanors, traffic citations, and parking tickets, but also sexual indiscretions, mistakes, blunders, catastrophes, nuclear holocausts, and anything else that he might conceivably do wrong. He added that the pardon…
FULL ARTICLEGreg Felton: American politics is a living joke
Listen HERE In his latest satirical article, ex-mainstream journalist Greg Felton asks: “What do you get when you mash together The Beverly Hillbillies, House of Cards and The Godfather?” I’ll tell you what you get: A Living Joke!, the first political satire that is also a reality TV show!” Is Greg referring to the Trump presidency, its Democratic deep state opponents, or all of the above? Tune in and find out! Final 20 minutes: Kevin reads his prescient 2013 article “Will Israel Merge With Saudi Arabia?”
FULL ARTICLETrump Renegotiates Iran Deal!
The signatories to the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA), better known as the Iran nuclear deal, announced yesterday that they have found a way to “fix” the deal to make it acceptable to US president Donald Trump. Iranian Foreign Minister Zarif explained: “After lengthy Twitter discussions with the White House, we learned that Trump had only one real objection to the deal: Obama got credit for it, not him. So we decided to keep the deal intact, including the acronym, but change the name to honor Trump. From now on, instead of Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, JCPOA will…
FULL ARTICLEDetroit’s Silverstein Dome Slated for Demolition Next September 11th
In the wake of the failed demolition of Detroit’s Silverdome, the surprisingly robust building has been purchased by Larry Silverstein, the 9/11 Deceptive Demolition King, and renamed the “Silverstein Dome.” Silverstein has reportedly doubled the terror insurance on the condemned building, hardballed insurers into changing the terms to “cash payout,” and scheduled breakfast on the mezzanine next September 11th – apparently forgetting that he has also scheduled a dermatologist appointment that morning. Additionally, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been notified in order to ensure that “al-Qaeda” also schedules something interesting that day. As the Lucky Larry’s Deceptive Demolitions slogan says:…
FULL ARTICLEThe Simpson Option: Zionists Threaten Cartoon Armageddon
by Kevin Barrett, TruthJihad.com For decades, Israel has been threatening to blow up the world if it is ever forced to end its apartheid system. Zionists call this plan to murder all of humanity “the Samson Option.” But the world, undeterred, continues to turn … against Zionist apartheid. On Wednesday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu upped the ante, announcing a new, even worse plot to take revenge on the nations. Termed “the Simpson Option,” Bibi’s plan consists of having the Zionist-dominated media replace current television, movie and internet content with endless re-runs of The Simpsons. “With our control of the…
FULL ARTICLEIntroducing…the DUMBPHONE
“What it is, see, is…well, it looks just like a Smartphone, except it’s really, REALLY dumb.” By Kevin Barrett, VT Editor Here at VT we’re always trying to figure out how to make a quick buck… …without selling our souls to the avaricious avatars of ultimate evil. Easier said than done. Some of us have set up little side-businesses. Gordon Duff sells hand-crafted high-grade military weapons. Jim Fetzer invests in 9/11 truth conferences(but hasn’t quite hit the jackpot yet). Jim Dean can get you wholesale discounts on confederate flags. Preston James peddles shards of mystery-metal from the Roswell crash out of the…
FULL ARTICLEDieudonné charged with material support for comedy
Dieudonné is so funny he’s a threat to public safety Paris, FranceDissociated Press France’s most popular comedian, Dieudonné Mbala Mbala, has been arrested and charged with providing material support for comedy. After detaining the French comedian Wednesday at his home in Quenelle-sur-Seine, the French authorities announced that anyone caught laughing at Dieudonné’s performances, whether on youtube, Facebook, twitter, or anywhere else, would also be arrested and charged with providing material support for providing material support for comedy. “And if you think that’s funny, wise guy” added Police Commissioner Jerque Culfoutre, “we’ll arrest you for providing material support for providing material support…
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