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California Reparations Task Force: Pay Descendants of Enslaved People to Urinate in Public

A “Golden Opportunity” for Restorative Justice Dissociated Press After demanding that state lawmakers ban the arrest and prosecution of people who violate laws against public urination, California’s reparations task force has upped the ante by calling for financial rewards for public urinators. Under the proposed Pay2Pee program, anyone descended from enslaved people could claim a $500 reward for each act of public urination, while “power pissers” who emit more than a half-gallon a day would be offered a ten-thousand-dollar-a-week stipend. Former San Francisco District Attorney Chesa Boudin, an advisor to the task force, said that paying people to urinate in…


Jews seek $500 trillion in global persecution reparations

Dissociated Press Following Israel’s demand for $250 billion ┬áin reparations from Arab nations, the World Jewish Congress (otherwise known as WorldJewCon, or WJC) has upped the ante, demanding an additional $500 trillion in persecution reparations from the entire world. WJC spokesman Rob Sheisterstein announced the demand from his royal penthouse suite atop the Hotel President Wilson in Geneva, Switzerland. (The Hotel Wilson, alongside the other 82 five-star hotels in Switzerland, was recently donated in perpetuity as partial reparations for the Swiss role in the Holocaust.) “Holocaust reparations? Mazel Tov. Arab reparations? Double-plus Mazel Tov,” Sheisterstein enthused. “But why stop there?…