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New Mandatory Vaccine Can Stop the Conspiracy Pandemic

Dissociated Press Guest Editorial by Dick Flaccidopholous, Director, Foundation for Undermining Conspiracy Theories (FUCT) What is your purpose in life? Why do you log in to the office every day? What talking points do you use to convince powerful people with money to give you some? Here at the Foundation for Undermining Conspiracy Theories we have a simple but elegant mission statement: “There are too many gol-danged conspiracy theories! We are FUCT! We’ve got to stop them!” Unfortunately, until now, it was easier said than done. But today, thanks to a new vaccine, all that has changed. The new ConspiraVax…

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Psychopaths develop technology to detect angry normals

A cabal of psychopaths that rules the former USA has developed a new tool to detect and neutralize non-psychopaths who threaten their power. That, at least, is the implication of a recently-uncovered Department of Homeland Security document revealing the existence of Future Attribute Screening Technology (FAST) – a “pre-crime” detection unit not unlike the one dystopian novelist Philip K. Dick dreamed up for “Minority Report,” which inspired the Tom Cruise film. And by way of homage to another great dystopian writer, George Orwell, FAST will red-flag individuals harboring what the ruling psychopaths call “malintent.” As DailyTech.com reports: This new “pre-crime”…

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