While brave IDF soldiers break little kids’ bones “I’m going to call the police on you for attacking my hot coffee with your face!” Dissociated Press Heroic J*ws across the world are standing strong against anti-Semites who want to throw them in gas chambers, drive them into the sea, say mean nasty things about the state of Israel, tell the truth about the Kennedys or the USS Liberty or 9/11, or be Palestinian. Haaretz reports: “X shot an Arab four times in the back and got away with a self-defense claim. Four bullets in the back from a distance of…
FULL ARTICLECategory: satire
Drone Mystery Solved — Iranian Mothership Lands in New Jersey
Dissociated Press Conspiracy theorists have been proven right once again, as Representative Jeff Van Drew’s claim that an Iranian mothership was behind a rash of drone sightings has been confirmed by the CIA, FBI, NASA, Project Blue Beam, Project Jim Beam, and other government agencies. Official confirmations of the Iranian space vessel’s identity followed the mothership’s landing in a backyard at 920 S. 5th St. in Camden, New Jersey, less than four miles from the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard where the 1943 Philadelphia Experiment permanently shattered the boundaries of space, time, and human reason. According to internet sleuths, the backyard in…
FULL ARTICLEDear Joe Biden: Pardon Me! (Even Though I Haven’t Done Anything Wrong)
Dissociated Press Joe Biden 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500, USA Dear President Biden, I saw reports that you are planning to pardon not only criminals like your scumbag son, but also people who haven’t committed any crimes and are under no suspicion and haven’t done anything wrong. That is a brilliant idea! I hate Franz Kafka and have always wanted to write an anti-Kafka novel. You just gave me the plot: A spotlessly innocent, law-abiding protagonist wakes up one morning and discovers that the President of the United States just issued him a blanket pardon covering all crimes…
FULL ARTICLEIn Which I Deliver a Bomb Threat to the White House
Dissociated Press Dear President Trump, I am writing to express my consternation at the “violent, un-American bomb threats” to which your cabinet noms, other appointees are being subjected. Violent, un-American bomb threats are violent and un-American. That is why I am writing to deliver a nonviolent, patriotic, pro-American bomb threat. My patriotic America-loving associates and I are considering planting a nonviolent bomb in a White House wastebasket. When the nonviolent bomb goes off, it will render everyone within a range of roughly 500 meters…nonviolent. In the wake of the nonviolent bomb’s detonation, you and your cabinet’s propensity for violence will…
FULL ARTICLEThe Onion Offers New, Improved Version of Infowars
It no longer fears the JQ Dissociated Press In the wake of the successful lawsuit against Alex Jones by victims of the Jewish genocide of Palestine, The Onion has taken control of Infowars. The settlement requires selling all of Jones’ assets to pay $6 million (TM) to each Palestinian genocide survivor. Onion CEO Zaher Jabarin explained: “Alex Jones has a shameful history of downplaying the Jewish Question and covering for the Jewish genocide of Palestine. He has done everything he could to distract his audience from the obvious reality that powerful Zionist Jews murdered the Kennedys, did 9/11, dominate international…
FULL ARTICLEThe Ballad of Genocide Don
Or, “Genocide Joe Hosts Hitler” Patronize the Poet The Ballad of Genocide Don There once was a scumbag named Genocide Joe With a big genocidal baton. But Genocide Joe got too senile and old So he passed it to Genocide Don. – Though Genocide Don was a Hitler, Joe’d said, He invited him in for a chat. And they sat by the fire, and liar-to-liar Joe told Don he didn’t look fat. – And you don’t look senile, you hair-sniffing penile dementia-brained dickhead, Don said. Joe told Don to fuck off, and they laughed till they coughed About how…
FULL ARTICLEAmsterdam Soccer Riots: Worse Than the Holocaust?
Rumble link Bitchute link Were the media’s lies about who was responsible for the genocidal Zionist scum getting themselves beat up in Amsterdam even worse than that same media’s lies about the Holocaust? Probably not. But they were still pretty bad. Here is a timeline of the “new Holocaust” in Amsterdam. Fortunately the senile American president, Joe Biden, noticed that another Holocaust had occurred, and had the courage to speak out against it. “The Antisemitic attacks on Israeli soccer fans in Amsterdam are despicable and echo dark moments in history when Jews were persecuted,” Biden wrote in a statement shared…
FULL ARTICLENew York Times Hails American Fuhrer
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FULL ARTICLECrazy Bibi’s Masada 2.0 Furniture Sale Now Underway
He’s BAAAA-AAACK! In the furniture business, that is. So step right up! It’s Crazy Bibi’s Masada 2.0 Discount Furniture Leaving-the-Country Sale! My prices are INSANE! 7 million Jews are leaving Palestine! If I don’t steal their left-behind furniture and sell it, somebody else gonna steal and sell it! I must be CRAZY to be selling this stuff so cheap! At these prices, it’s a steal! IF YOU DON’T STEAL IT, SOMEBODY ELSE GONNA STEAL IT! So come on down to Crazy Bibi’s Discount Furniture Warehouse Sale, 35 Azza Street, Jerusalem, Palestine Hurry! Hurry! The sale ends when Hezbollah’s next rocket…
FULL ARTICLEBut Is It Good For the Jews? (FFWN Special Report With Uncle Moishe)
Oct. 5 show Fundrazr link Oct. 17 show Fundrazr link The bad news is that we failed to meet our $200 goal last week. The good news is that False Flag Weekly News, like every serious business, has a Jewish financial advisor. That would be Uncle Moishe. It’s great to have a Jewish uncle. Every goy should have one. When your business is in trouble, you just turn to Uncle Moishe for advice. (Jewish personal trainers are great too.) I told Uncle Moishe that False Flag Weekly News didn’t reach its $200 goal last week. I explained that we’ve…
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