Watch the full uncensored FFWN HERE By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor The top story of the last week of 2021: Putin and Biden spent almost an hour on the special “save the world from nuclear destruction hotline” doing a remake of President Merkin Muffley’s emergency call to Premier Kissoff in Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove. Putin’s message: If Biden doesn’t call back the first strike weapons Gen. Jack D. Ripper is sending to Russia’s borders, get ready for…the Doomsday Machine. Speaking of Doomsday Machines….which is the real Doomsday Machine, the virus or the vaccine? The latter looks more and more likely,…
FULL ARTICLECategory: satire
Bill Gates Apologizes for Smallpox Vial in his Refrigerator
Dissociated Press Emerging disease magnate Bill Gates has issued a heartfelt apology for keeping a vial of smallpox virus in his refrigerator. At a press conference held at the spaceport on the roof of his 300-acre Seattle mansion, Gates explained that he simply likes to collect things, especially rare and dangerous diseases, and that he never intended to uncork the vial and unleash the scourge—at least not unless his bioweapon/vaccine depopulation efforts fail. The smallpox vial was discovered by one of Gates’ maids while she was cleaning the filthy, mold-encrusted refrigerator. A tearful Gates, trying his best to sob exactly…
FULL ARTICLEDear San Francisco: Please pay me not to shoot people. How do I apply?
Dissociated Press Emailed a few minutes ago: Dear San Francisco Human Rights Commission, According to Newsweek magazine, your “new program in San Fransisco (sic) will pay people at high risk of shooting someone not to pull the trigger to help alleviate rising gun violence in the city. The Dream Keeper Fellowship is set to launch in October and pay 10 individuals $300 each month to not be involved in shootings, Sheryl Davis executive director of the Human Rights Commission told Newsweek in an interview Tuesday.” I like that idea. But $300 a month, no matter how many people you don’t…
FULL ARTICLEWoke Resistance to the Taliban Begins Now! Rainbow Flags Sprout Like Poppies in Hindu Kush
By Akhmadijah Masjoud, for the Washington Pooft Dissociated Press In 1998, when I was a 9 year old boy who identified as two girls, my father, the mujuhideen commander Ahmad Shah Masjoud, gathered his gender-confused soldiers in a nightclub of dubious repute in the Pansyjhir Valley of northern Afghanistan. They sat around in dresses and high heels and listened as my father’s very special friend, bisexual Zionist philosopher Bernard-Henri Lévy, lisped: “When you fight for your freedom to dreth up in womenth clothing,” Lévy said, “you fight also for our freedom to be ruled by Zionitht thexual blackmailerth like Jeffrey…
FULL ARTICLEZuckerberg: Facebook’s new prayer app will spy on God, steal His data
Dissociated Press Speaking at a press conference near the site of the planned Facebook Temple in Occupied Jerusalem, Facebook Grand Inquisitor Mark Zuckerberg has announced the rollout of a new prayer tool that he hopes will give him exclusive access to God’s private communications: “You’ve got to think big in this business, you’ve got to move fast and break things. We’ve already stolen everybody on Earth’s data and made a fortune on all those dumb fucks. So why not God’s?” Zuckerberg bragged that his IT engineers have managed to breach God’s privacy firewall. “God, unlike the dumb fucks He created,…
FULL ARTICLEFinal Solution to Israel’s Jewish Problem
Watch the bowdlerized YouTube version of FFWN above, or the full uncensored show HERE By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor Israel has a problem. A Jewish problem. A very Jewish problem. Israel is having difficulty figuring out who’s Jewish and who isn’t. And that’s a problem. Because it’s important. Those deemed “Jews” get rights, the others get left out. For example, Israel won’t let its gold medalist Artem Dolgopyat get married. Why not? Because the Chief Rabbinate says he isn’t Jewish. Dolgopyat’s dad is Jewish. But his mom is not. According to the Rabbinate, you need a Jewish mother to…
FULL ARTICLEVax Resisters Need Experimental Capital Punishment Therapy
A Modest Proposal Guest op-ed by Dr. Joe Gubbles, New York Times Vaccine Compliance Messaging Czar Dissociated Press As our obligatory five minutes of hate lingers into five days, five weeks, five months or even five years of hate for the irresponsible nincompoops who refuse experimental gene therapy, we are going to have to stop dangling carrots in front of their noses and start beating the hell out of them with sticks. Unfortunately, these people are stubborn, so even walloping them black and blue with a thick oak stave probably won’t convince them. We could always send police to grab…
FULL ARTICLEIn Which We Blaspheme Against the Sacred Vax, the Holy WHO, and the Infallible Dr. Fauci
Above is the YouTube-safe, VT-safe False Flag Weekly News. Watch the full uncensored “blasphemous” version, complete with links to the stories, HERE. By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor Presbyterian minister John Shuck and I committed blasphemy in our introduction to this week’s False Flag Weekly News. If we had merely cursed God and His Prophets, spewed four-letter epithets for fornication and feces, urinated on sacred objects, and otherwise indulged in edgy Jewish comedy and avant-garde artistic expression, YouTube wouldn’t have cared. But we did something worse…vastly worse. We blasphemed against the sacred vax, the Holy WHO, and the infallible Dr.…
FULL ARTICLEPrince Philip gets his wish, reincarnates as deadly virus
Dissociated Press The British Royal Family disclosed this morning that the late Prince Philip, who passed away last Friday, has already achieved his fondest wish and succeeded in reincarnating as a deadly virus. A statement from Buckingham Palace, issued shortly before noon, said: “It is with great pride and appreciation that Her Majesty the Queen announces the reincarnation of her beloved husband, his deceased Royal Highness Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, as a deadly virus.” The British government announced that after the requisite eight days of national mourning of Philip’s passing, there would follow eight days of joyous celebration of…
FULL ARTICLEKrispy Kreme Now Offering 10 FREE DONUTS PER DAY to Anyone Vaccinated for COVID
Dissociated Press Thanks to a 10 billion dollar grant from the Bill and Melinda Gates Depopulation Fund, Krispy Kreme Donuts is upping the ante and raising its vaccination bribe for people who show their vaccination card. Instead of just one donut per day, Krispy Kreme will now feed you ten donuts per day for the rest of 2021 if you can prove you’ve been vaccinated. “The vaccine hasn’t been killing people fast enough,” Gates explained, “and its anti-fertility effects, alongside those of the virus, haven’t been sufficient to promote the kind of depopulation that Melinda and I would like to…
FULL ARTICLE