Sandy Hook parent Robbie Parker has once again raised eyebrows by reacting unexpectedly to an emotionally-charged event.
Informed that a jury had awarded him $120 million, Parker collapsed on the floor, weeping pitifully, before pulling himself together, wiping away the tears, and flashing an insincere smile as he kicked off the Sandy Hook parents’ press conference celebrating their $965 million dollar victory over Alex Jones.
Conspiracy theorists believe that Parker and other Sandy Hook parents are crisis actors paid by Alex Jones to pretend to hate Jones while offering the Infowars host invaluable mainstream media publicity. According to the theory, Parker and the other parents hoped and expected that the jury would throw out their ridiculous, frivolous lawsuit. When the jury unexpectedly found for the plaintiffs and awarded them almost a billion dollars, Parker, who received the biggest award, was devastated. But ever the talented crisis actor, after a few moments of hyperventilation as taught by method acting founder Lee Strasberg, Parker was able to get into character and pretend to be happy to have just won $120 million.
Alex Jones, reached by telephone at an extraterrestrial-run brothel twelve miles beneath the surface of Austin, Texas, heatedly denied that Parker and the other Sandy Hook parents were crisis actors, and threatened to sue any satirists who suggest otherwise.