Dissociated Press In the illustrious culmination of his 100-year career, Henry Kissinger arrived in Hell today and was immediately appointed Satan’s National Security Advisor. Kissinger will spend the rest of eternity devising futile diplomatic ruses and stratagems aimed at enhancing Hell’s nonexistent chances of defeating Heaven. At a press conference announcing the appointment, Satan said that even though he knows he doesn’t have a chance in Hell of succeeding in his long-standing Global War on God (GWOG), he nonetheless hopes that Kissinger, by injecting notes of gravitas and realpolitic into the Kingdom of Hellfire’s infernally hopeless strategic and diplomatic efforts,…
FULL ARTICLEKissinger Arrives in Hell, Appointed National Security Advisor
