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Trump to Pursue Herd Immunity Through COVID-Laced Breakfast Cereal

Dissociated Press President Donald Trump has announced his new “herd immunity” plan to defeat the pandemic: A breakfast cereal made of GMO corn, high-fructose corn syrup, COVID-19 virus, and glyphosate and other artificial flavors. “If every child in America ate a bowl of CoronaFlakes every morning,” the President tweeted yesterday, “we could achieve herd immunity in less than two weeks. Back to work, America! Just in time to re-elect me and save me from another bankruptcy and maybe prison.” The herd-immunity-through-cereal strategy was drafted by Trump’s new science advisor, self-taught virologist and defrocked gynecologist Dr. Buster Hymen, inventor of the…