Secretary of Snake Mike Pompeo called an impromptu press conference this morning to explain the coming “smooth transition to a second Trump Administration.”
“The courts will smoothly move to nullify election results in key swing states,” Pompeo explained. “Republican state legislatures will, with equal smoothness, refuse to send Democratic delegates to the Electoral College. The Supreme Court will smoothly step in and throw the election to the House, where the state-by-state vote will smoothly award the presidency to that old smoothie Donald J. Trump.”
Pompeo said the “smooth transition” would then get even smoother: Massive anti-Trump demonstrations all over America will be smoothly put down by Trump-loyalist federal troops, with tens of thousands of demonstrators smoothly exterminated by automatic weapons, tanks, and Apache helicopters. Disloyal military officers will be smoothly executed. Attempts by America’s most populous states to smoothly exit the United States of Trump will be countered with extreme smoothness—as well as extreme prejudice, and if necessary the smoothing-over of cities with nuclear weapons.
By the time it’s over, Pompeo explained, the former United States of America will be smoothed to the ground. “And if that isn’t a smooth transition,” he concluded, “then what is?”