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Will Kerry masturbate naked in a coffin to launch Syria war?

The alternative media has raised John Kerry’s membership in Skull and Bones as a possible reason for his enthusiasm for war with Syria.

Skull and Bones is a satan-worshipping secret society formed in the 19th century by the most ruthless members of America’s slaving, opium-trading WASP organized crime families. Skull and Bones members are selected for their cunning and sociopathy. They are inducted in a bizarre ceremony that occurs every year in “the Crypt” – an underground bunker beneath a building near Yale University in New Haven, Connnecticut.

“The Crypt” lies below this building

New members are led down into the crypt, and forced to lie naked in a coffin, surrounded by older Bonesmen – including in some cases their own fathers. The inductee is then required to masturbate while recounting his entire sexual history to the assembled crowd.

In 2004, both of the major-party presidential candidates – George W. Bush and John Kerry – had performed this depraved act.

Now, according to unconfirmed reports, John Kerry is considering a new strategy for persuading the US Congress to go to war with Syria. According to unnamed State Department sources, Kerry is planning to lie naked in a coffin in front of Congress and masturbate while delivering his next impassioned call for war.

Kerry’s naked-in-a-coffin speech will reportedly detail his entire sexual history – including graphic descriptions of what he does with his wife, the Jewish-Zionist ketchup heiress Theresa Heinz in a huge jacuzzi full of warm ketchup.

How will this strategy persuade Congress to launch a war with Syria? A State Department source, who wishes to remain anonymous, explained that Kerry will offer to terminate his performance as soon as Congress unanimously declares its willingness to vote for war. “After about fifteen seconds of watching Kerry masturbating naked in a coffin, even the most rabid anti-war congress-critters will vote for anything just to make him stop,” the aide explained.

The Executive Director of the Order of Skull and Bones – a reclusive individual with a tail and horns who often carries a pitchfork – could not be reached for comment.

“OK, I’ll vote for anything! Just make him stop!”

8 Thoughts to “Will Kerry masturbate naked in a coffin to launch Syria war?”

  1. Anonymous

    I knew the warmongers were shameless, but this is going too far.

  2. Anonymous

    Fifteen seconds?! I'd say more like five seconds – at most.

  3. Associated Press: Prince Bandar of Saudia Arabia (one of the war criminals best buds with George WAR Bush) gave those chemicals to the REBELS! Rebels admitted they didn't know what it was, and while messing with it, it blew up killing 12 Rebels. Who are the rebels. The AL CIA EDA assassins who participated in wars against Iraq, Libya and now Syria. For the Obama regime to speak about chemicals or using them on innocent populations….will the real terrorists please stand up. The US nuked Japan, the US used agent orange against the Vietnamese and OUR soldiers, the US used depleted uranium against innocent Iraqis…the weapon that keeps on killing for generations. NO corporate media has informed the American citizens about Bandar…Why? Cuz the corporate media, this government and multinational corporations are working in collusion…as Mussolini said, "that's fascism". The Project for a New American Century (the Cheney neo con document) calls for Syria and Iran to be attacked. Who benefits in killing even more innocent Syrians…the Greater Israel…AIPAC came out today for an all out invasion…John McCain CAUGHT PLAYING POKER on his IPOD while the Senate hearings went on yesterday. This has nothing to do with chemicals…it has everything to do with Israel and their Zionist wish list. John Kerry, Mr. Skull and Cross Bones…lied through his filthy rich teeth yesterday the same as Colin Powell did with his little vial at the UN. Hell NO we Won't GO. wHO ARE THESE REBELS…the organ eaters, these are the crazies the US now stands with. US take that finger pointed at Assad and turn it around on yourself.

  4. good question Kevin …

    here is for you Kevin, a call for unity before the big one starts… in arabic but we did so well destroying qatar using this mean frm within that we will blow up bandar bin israel with this

  5. After watching all these skirt wearing pom pom dancers called the afore"media".

    I sent a email to pbs newshour asking them to post ( 1 ) video of Bashar al Assad's forces killing civilians. I challenged them by asserting that there are thousands of posted videos showing the US backed Rebels who admit ties to al Qaeda and al Nusra slaughtering police, postal workers, children, farmers, Syrian soldiers and thousands more as well as hostages, cleric's, Christians, and many tens of thousands more.

    It is clear that pbs newshour won't be able to produce even a single shred of proof that the Syrian army was involved in anything but killing proxy pig warriors of the US and Israel.

  6. The only way or option to solve all Middle East woes is to transfer the alleged "Chosen Ones" to the Antarctica to share the dark and ice loaded with frozen turds for 4 month.

    Then and only then will they see the living hell of what their actions through decades of wars and false flag has done to the original Semites of Palestine.

    If the Israeli's had to endur what they caused others to, things would change fast. On the afore mentioned. Holding an egg on their flippers is optional as that is or would be their future children.

  7. Anonymous

    kerry seems to be saying that if he doesn't get his own way, more chemical gasses will be released in Syria. How does he know that? Is Al Qaeda awaiting his order in Syria ?

    "UK Foreign Secretary William Hague will discuss the Syria crisis with US Secretary of State John Kerry during talks in London later."

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