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Jared Kushner Solves the Coronavirus Problem with Free-Market Initiatives

Dissociated Press In the wake of his failed coronavirus condom initiative, First Son-In-Law Jared Kusher—smarting from criticism of his attempts to capitalize on the pandemic—has unveiled a new line of potentially profitable products that he says will “solve the coronavirus crisis just like I solved the Mideast crisis.” “After extensive focus group testing, we discovered that people don’t want to pull gigantic extra-heavy-duty condoms over their heads every time they leave the house,” Kushner explained. “So we starting thinking about other ways to promote social distancing using simple, inexpensive products that can be sold in pharmacies and supermarkets. “The first idea…