Guest column by Rev. Darvis P. Fuddlesnapper, Pastor, Church of Jesus H. Christ Warmonger
When I first heard that them thar Islamics wanted to put up a mosque next to that big hole where the Twin Towers use to be, it made me so mad I almost split my britches. And I preached me a sermon calling on the Almighty to strike down the mayor and the Islamics and all the rest of the blasphemers.
But after church, one of them nice Christian ladies who graces the front pew every Sunday (I call her “Our Lady of the Cleavage” but please don’t mention that to my wife Ethel) told me the mosque site is actually a lot closer to World Trade Center Building 7 than it is to the hole where the Towers used to be.
Holy tarnation! A mosque next to Building 7!
You know what that means, don’t you? That means those pesky Islamicals are THANKING ALLAH for the MIRACULOUS DESTRUCTION OF BUILDING 7!
Those darn Muslimists know full well that Building 7 was never hit by a plane, and only had modest fires on a couple of floors, when suddenly — WHAM! — it came straight down at free-fall speed for no particular reason around 5:20 in the afternoon of 9/11. For the Islamics, the destruction of Building 7 was a miracle from Allah! No wonder they’re putting up a shrine next door!
What’s worse, those Islamics probably think it was Allah who told the BBC that Building 7 was going to collapse. The Muslimists always say “Only Allah knows the future.” For them, the BBC’s report that Building 7 had collapsed, twenty minutes before it happened, is another miracle.
Are all you good warmongering Christians of America gonna let ALLAH take credit for the miraculous collapse of Building 7, and the BBC’s miraculous foreknowledge?
We’ve got to stop the Building 7 Mosque.