Demands That It Be Banned From Social Media
The Anti-Defecation League (ADL) has issued a press release demanding the banning of the expression “God’s mercy” from social media. According to the ADL, the notion that God is merciful, and the associated idea that mercy is good, is “a direct attack on Jews and their beliefs.”
The press release explains that while a few Jews still think God is a merciless psychopathic patriarch named Yahweh, the majority don’t believe in God at all, and in mercy even less. They do, however, believe that the God they don’t believe in gave them Palestine to commit genocide in. Since the notion of mercy, especially Divine mercy, implies that they shouldn’t be committing genocide, it is an implicit denial of Israel’s right to exist, and therefore constitutes an anti-Semitic trope.
Elon Musk, eager to convince the Jewish CEOs of America’s 1000 biggest companies to stop boycotting him in their misguided campaign to prove that Jews really don’t run everything, quickly submitted to the ADL’s demand. Musk tweeted: “As I said earlier, ‘God’s mercy’ and similar euphemisms necessarily imply opposition to genocide. Such threats to Israel’s right to genocidally exist are against our terms of service and will result in suspension.”
Jonathan Greenbutt, the ADL’s Grand Inquisitor, gave Musk a pat on the head, then demanded that the “God’s mercy” ban be extended to include related terms including “for mercy’s sake,” “lawd o’mercy,” and “mercy sakes alive.” He added that social media users who try to avoid the ban using circumlocutions like “for goodness sake” and “for pity’s sake” also needed to be mercilessly hunted down and deplatformed.
Greenbutt went on to insist that music archives be purged of songs about mercy. “I’m not just talking about the obviously anti-Jewish gospel songs like ‘Grace and Mercy‘ and ‘Mercy Says No,’ but also ostensibly secular songs, like the Rolling Stones’ ‘Mercy Mercy,’ Leon Cohen’s ‘Sisters of Mercy,’ and even the satanic Zionist Nick Cave’s worshipful hymn to the electric chair ‘The Mercy Seat.’ Even those seemingly innocent songs are grounded in an anti-Semitic trope and need to be completely, ruthlessly, mercilessly exterminated.”
Pressed by a Jewish Daily Forward reporter, Greenbutt acknowledged that the expression “God’s justice” is also anti-Semitic, but said he wouldn’t get around to unjustly banning it until next week.
From its home in the National Archives in Washington, DC, the First Amendment screamed for mercy, emitted a death rattle, and can no longer be reached for comment.