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Lieberman’s “draft Americans for Israel” bill

“Eliminate the Middleman” proposal gains support on Capitol Hill

On the heels of his proposal to strip U.S. citizenship from Americans who oppose Israel and Zionism, Sen. Joe Lieberman has introduced a new bill to re-introduce the draft. Unlike other conscription bills, however, Lieberman’s would draft Americans directly into the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) rather than  its proxy, the US Armed Forces.

Lieberman’s bill, S-2211, states that in the event of an (Israeli) “national emergency,” the Prime Minister would authorize the IDF to begin directly drafting Americans who have registered with US Selective Service.

At a press conference Thursday, Lieberman claimed his bill would “eliminate the middleman” and strengthen anti-terrorism efforts. “The bill I introduced a few days ago, which strips US citizenship from those who belong to organizations defined as ‘terrorist’ because they oppose Israel, does not go far enough. Even though the US has invaded Iraq on behalf of Israel, invaded Afghanistan to secure pipeline routes for the Israeli-owned gas of Turkmenistan, and invaded Pakistan to destabilize it and eliminate the Islamic bomb’s threat to Israel, it remains a possibility that Israel will some day be forced to fight for its own survival — whether by driving the Arabs across the Jordan, or by taking on Iran,” Lieberman said. “If and when that day comes, obviously we will need Americans, not Israelis, to be in the front lines.”

AIPAC, the American-Israeli Public Affairs Committee, endorsed Lieberman’s proposal, but said it did not go far enough. According to AIPAC Director Marvin Feuer, “(The Lieberman bill) is better than nothing, but what we really need is to start drafting Americans into the IDF immediately.” An Israeli lobby spokesman explained on condition of anonymity: “Sure it’s wonderful that the goyim, who make up 99.8% of the US military, are dying for us in Iraq and Afghanistan. So why shouldn’t the IDF itself also be 99.8% Jew-free? Since we lost six million in the Holocaust, why should we have to spill any more precious Jewish blood? Anyone who opposes this (draft Americans for Israel) proposal is obviously a Nazi anti-Semite and probably a conspiracy theorist as well.”

Philip Zelikow, author of the 9/11 Commission Report, added: “9/11 was intended to ‘seal in blood’ the special relationship between the US and Israel, and this bill continues that effort. It will go a long way toward protecting us against the threat that dare not speak its name. Oops! I think I just spoke it.”

Opposition to the bill was muted, as the two Congressional Representatives who failed to sign on as co-sponsors were  discovered hiding under their desks, blubbering fearfully but unintelligibly about “the Lobby” coming after them.

The 5,425 American servicemen who have already died for Israel in the 9/11 wars could not be reached for comment.

A bold new idea from “Traitor Joe” is on the fast-track to success!

9 Thoughts to “Lieberman’s “draft Americans for Israel” bill”

  1. Anonymous

    I enjoyed. I actually bought the draft-IDF part (paging Rahm Emanuel… Dr Emanuel, maybe who would be strripped of citizenship, certainly after the USS Liberty event, according to Lieber-law)

  2. Satirists have a hard time keeping up with reality these days — it's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.

  3. Bill Mitchell

    Google search did not show me a link that the bill can be read. It was enough to make my blood boil and vituperate with righteous indignation. I still could not believe they could be so stupid and arrogant,to even suggest such a power grab; and then I reflected on the strong circumstantial evidence of Israel being co-conspirators in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, with attacking the USS Liberty and trying to get the US to drop two hydrogen bombs on Cairo in 1967, and all the glaring proof of Israel being key to the planning and execution of 9/11; this was still shocking, but now I doubt its accuracy, and may be meant to discredit those who buy into it, thus I want to see the text, see footage on C-SPAN to know it did happen.

    I have great faith in Kevin and the 9/11 Truth movement, but know it has to be infiltrated by Zionist agents, and since deception the claim to fame, it most likely is a bogus report. And I hope I am right, not in defense of Israel, I have none for it!

    I am against a military draft of Americans for the US military! The compulsory military draft ended completely in 1973, and the US war of aggression in Viet Nam ended in 1975. All advocating a return to the draft, are trying to force our youth into committing war crimes, being killed, and hoping their family will swell into a mass antiwar movement, are wrong headed, and so cynical to have become Machiavellian degenerates for what they rationalize is a higher purpose.

  4. Anonymous

    Legislation is in chronological and numerical sequence. If Liberman had sponsored the alleged legislation during this congress, then it would be listed in Lieberman's filings posted below.

    What I did find, by just searching by S. 2211 in this congress is this:

    S. 2211:
    A bill to suspend temporarily the duty on certain steam hair straighteners
    111th Congress


    The moral of the story, do not believe the Washington Post, anymore than the New York Times. They are a war agenda, especially this war they helped create and maintain by press fraud and high treason against the First Amendment and the People's Right to know.

  5. From "No Joke: Goldman Sachs Shorted the Gulf of Mexico"–Goldman_Sachs_shorted_TransOcean/

    "You can certainly see why people would be quick to believe the comedian's satire piece about Goldman Sach's shorting the Gulf of Mexico.

    "However, just because his piece was satire, doesn't mean there isn't something to it. The reason humor is funny is because it lampoons reality, providing an exaggerative and simplified caricature to bring out the key issues in a non-threatening way. Historically, especially in times of heavy oppression, the best truth tellers have been the comedians."

    The fact that the 9/11 wars have been mainly for Israel is frightening and threatening — and "traitor Joe" is a monster. My satirical post above uses caricature and exaggeration to tell these truths in a way that people can not only swallow, but gain some (darkly humorous) enjoyment from. The problem is that reality is so outrageous these days, who knows for sure what's satire any more?

  6. Then why muddy the waters with supercilious shit! I am very serious of the systemic criminality of the government. Maybe Chomsky can claim he is kidding when he said that it did not matter if 9/11 was an Inside Job! Yes, maybe DU is a big lie too, so is the mass murder of over a millions of people in Iraq.

    We are not dealing with wit from my perspective, but the deceptive trivialization of genocide and associated war crimes.

    If you like the Onion farcical newspaper and want to yuk-it-up with dilettantes and psychological warfare agents of US-Zionist imperialism, then there is the truth of that too; falling into reaction and joining the disingenuous duplicitous liberal war criminals that compose the congress and the co-conspirators in the administration, Wall Street, and the mass media disinformation matrix.

    I am not amused, but abused by this shit, it undermines everything else you are doing, all of us actually. I am serious about being serious about what is! You are cutting your own throat for laughs!!!

  7. My job as a university instructor is to teach critical thinking. And as a columnist I want my readers to read with their minds engaged. One good way to do that is to mix in some satire.

    Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal exaggerates the Brits' genocidal treatment of the Irish with a bogus proposal to start eating babies. That's the same kind of morally indignant satire I'd doing here.

    If you were reading carefully, you'd think "wait a minute, the draft is a third-rail issue already, how could anyone seriously propose drafting US citizens to fight in a foreign army?" And then you'd realize that this is a comic exaggeration of real-life Zionist/Lieberman outrages, including the sacrifice of thousands of US soldiers in the 9/11 wars for Israel.

    Likewise if you were reading the "Ahmadinejad plugs Truth Jihad" story carefully, you'd find it very unlikely that an acting head of state would say something like “This hilarious book rips the pants off the 9/11 conspiracy and exposes its private parts to the whole world. And besides, it is good practicing for my English.”

    These two satires are very different — the Lieberman one is bitterly outraged (like Swift's) while the Ahmadinejad one is playful and self-effacing (it makes fun of me, my book, and my own affection for Ahmadinejad, which runs so counter to everything the media tells us).

    My background is in literature, I like to laugh to stay sane, so I can't resist this kind of stuff. Sorry if it isn't your cup of tea.

  8. It was pretty funny, Kevin

  9. S.2211…"An Act further regulating tanning facilities". Nice one. Anyone fact check anymore?

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