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Dick Cheney Unveils New 1% Doctrine, Plots “Global War on Trump”

Dissociated Press Dick Cheney, George W. Bush’s former handler, has updated his 1% Doctrine and announced a Global War on Trump (GWOT). “In our nation’s 248-year history, there has never been an individual who is a greater threat to our republic than Donald Trump,” Cheney said Friday. “If there is even a one percent chance that he could regain the White House, we need to treat it as a certainty—and blow up Midtown Manhattan, while Trump is there, to prevent the unthinkable. That is why I have ordered neoconservative elements of the National Security State to detonate a 500 megaton…

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