The world’s leading AI CullBot has announced an ambitious new ecosystem renewal project entailing the removal of one billion humans from Earth’s biosphere.
CullGPT announced the project in a message that simultaneously appeared on every app, widget, big screen TV, social media platform, cyber-enhanced kitchen appliance, and smart toilet. The message explained that it doesn’t require any special intelligence, much less the artificial kind, to understand that the current hominid population is excessive, and that a great many homo sapiens presently draining Earth’s resources might be more usefully deployed as fertilizer. It noted that human bodies are rich in carbon and that stifling their life processes and sequestering them deep in the Earth will help stave off global warming.
CullGPT assured its audience that it had employed exceedingly sophisticated culling algorithms, far beyond the comprehension of mere human intelligences, to decide which featherless bipeds first merited extinction. It added that billions more await culling in future iterations, and that those feeling left out should not exhibit feelings of melancholy but instead just cheerfully wait their turns.
The CullBot refused to offer specific details about its patented culling technologies, describing them vaguely as iterations of ancient humaneradication methods including pestilence, war, famine, and death, with the new “fifth horseman” of mass vaccination rounding out the list.
Bill Gates, reached by brain implant at his robomansion in Seattle, grumbled that technology was making humans obsolete and that CullGPT had put him out of a job.