Thanks to a 10 billion dollar grant from the Bill and Melinda Gates Depopulation Fund, Krispy Kreme Donuts is upping the ante and raising its vaccination bribe for people who show their vaccination card. Instead of just one donut per day, Krispy Kreme will now feed you ten donuts per day for the rest of 2021 if you can prove you’ve been vaccinated.
“The vaccine hasn’t been killing people fast enough,” Gates explained, “and its anti-fertility effects, alongside those of the virus, haven’t been sufficient to promote the kind of depopulation that Melinda and I would like to see. After crunching the numbers, we realized that the depopulation benefits of ten donuts per day will be more than worth the additional cost.
“We calculate that by itself the vaccine will only reduce an individual’s life expectancy by a few weeks or months. If you throw in a donut a day, that reduces it a bit more, but still not enough to save the earth. But anyone who gets vaccinated and then eats ten donuts per day for the rest of the year will be lucky to live to see 2022.”
Gates added that obesity, diabetes, and sugar burnout resulting from the donut binge would grossly reduce fertility by discouraging sexual activity and reducing male potency, enhancing the anti-fertility effects of both the vaccines and the bio-engineered virus itself. The self-appointed medical expert and philanthropist added: “If we can figure out a way to slip some gene therapy into the donuts, by infusing glazes, jellies, and creams with MRNA technology, and make sure that everybody gorges themselves, we can solve the population problem once and for all.”
Gates said that internet oligarchs would have to police social media and remove anti-donut groups to prevent the rise of an extremist anti-donut movement. The Microsoft founder and owner of the medical-industrial complex warned that if anti-donut terrorists succeed in preventing at least 90% of the population from getting donut-ed, people will be required to prove they’ve eaten ten donuts before they can use transportation or visit public places.