Preschoolers to teach sex education to college professors

Dissociated Press

The National Association of Preschoolers (NAP) has issued a statement urging all American university professors to enroll in a new remedial sex education program. The preschoolers will be offering “gender clarity for eggheads” classes at pre-kindergarten educational  institutions nationwide beginning in January.

NAP spokestoddler Sally S. explained: “Grown-ups are so silly. Some grown-ups don’t know boys have penises and girls have vaginas. We are going to tell them so they know.”

OK folks that’s it. I just don’t have the heart to write any more satire.

I was going to try to satirize this story:

“YPSILANTI, MI – Eastern Michigan University’s Women’s Resource Center will no longer host productions of “The Vagina Monologues,” noting that the play’s version of feminism excludes some women.

The WRC announced its decision in an email, which came after the center evaluated responses from a survey. Survey respondents opposing the production consistently indicated they were concerned that the play centers on cisgender women, that the play’s version of feminism excludes some women, including trans women, and that overall, “The Vagina Monologue” lacks diversity and inclusion.

I give up. I can’t write satire anymore. The reality is so totally self-satirizing that my best efforts would be superfluous.

The Washington Post just published a story about liberal bloggers who trick conservatives into believing ridiculous, satirical fake news stories. Many of these fake news stories “report” liberals doing ridiculous, insane things: “former president Bill Clinton becoming a serial killer, undocumented immigrants defacing Mount Rushmore, and former president Barack Obama dodging the Vietnam draft when he was 9.”

Based on the WaPo story, you would think conservatives are idiots for believing this kind of stuff. But what WaPo won’t tell you is that liberals are doing so many completely insane things, notably in the field of “gender confusion and perversity,” that no fake news report could ever do justice to the reality.

WaPo cites liberal fake news satirist Christopher Blair: “Is there ever a point where people realize they’re being fed garbage and decide to return to reality?” That is a very good question.

So when will people realize their Godless elite, a substantial proportion of them disciples of the Marquis de Sade, are feeding them sick, disgusting, perverse garbage? When will they decide to return to human nature based reality, in which there are only two genders, social life is organized around heterosexual reproductive units called “families,” and sexuality outside of  (obviously heterosexual) marital relationships is strongly discouraged?