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The bad news is that we failed to meet our $200 goal last week. The good news is that False Flag Weekly News, like every serious business, has a Jewish financial advisor. That would be Uncle Moishe.
It’s great to have a Jewish uncle. Every goy should have one. When your business is in trouble, you just turn to Uncle Moishe for advice. (Jewish personal trainers are great too.)
I told Uncle Moishe that False Flag Weekly News didn’t reach its $200 goal last week. I explained that we’ve been asking for $200 since the show began in 2014. Everything costs twice as much now. We really need to be pulling in more like $300 or $400 per show.
“So please, Uncle Moishe, give me a taste of your legendary Yiddish business acumen. What can I do to make the audience cough up?”
Uncle Moishe thought about for awhile. Then he said:
“Let me run the show.”
I immediately saw the genius of it. If FFWN viewers have to listen to Uncle Moishe spout off, instead of people like E. Michael Jones, Cat McGuire, and J. Michael Springmann, they will quickly “cry uncle” and open their proverbial pocketbooks in hopes of ending the torture.
Below is Uncle Moishe’s first-ever contribution to False Flag Weekly News. If you want it to be the last, please contribute to our Fundrazr.
–Kevin Barrett, Ringleader, False Flag Weekly News
But Is It Good For the Jews?
By Uncle Moishe
My goyische nephew Kevin Barrett tells me that you bums are too cheap to fork over the requisite sum of shekels necessary to sustain his False Flag Weekly News broadcasts. So I have kindly offered to shoulder him aside and pontificate in his place.
I understand that False Flag Weekly News goes over the week’s most interesting news stories and distills the essence of what you need to know to be an upstanding, well-informed citizen. That’s all well and good. But from where I’m sitting, every news story raises exactly one question: “Is it good for the Jews?”
Story #1: Jewk the Ripper
So let’s go over some of this week’s “False Flag Weekly Jews.” We’ll start with some serious shanda fuh duh goyim. That would be “Jack the Ripper was Jewish and the freemasons protected him.”
According to The Express, the police knew a Jew named Kosminski was the killer, but
“even then political correctness made them reluctant to accuse a Jew, due to the potential fallout of antiSemitism…He was acting out the notorious Masonic blood oaths ‘giving descriptions of mutilations, such as cutting throats, removing tongues, and ‘That my left breast had been torn open and my heart and vitals taken.'”
And get this: the Freemasons, who run the police and the courts, quashed the story and let the Ripper keep right on ripping. It seems the Freemasons didn’t want to create a shanda fuh duh goyim.
This whole story is BAD BAD BAD FOR THE JEWS! It’s full of antisemitic stereotypes that happen to be true. It needs to be retracted. Now! Somebody call the ADL! If that doesn’t work, call the JDL! And if that doesn’t work, somebody alert Bibi Netanyahu so he can call in an air strike and flatten the whole neighborhood where the Express has its offices.
Story #2: Assange Speaks
Julian Assange finally spoke in public. He blamed the Americans, not the Jews, for imprisoning him, even though we Jews took over the American empire long ago, leaving those WASPY Protestants in the dust. So it’s good that he didn’t mention us, but bad that he’s running around loose dissing the empire that our oligarchs run. That makes this story “neither good nor bad.” It just is.
Story #3: Israel Keeps Killing
Israel has been killing about 50 Palestinians a day, and more than 2000 in Lebanon during the past two weeks. Is that good or bad? Some say it’s another shanda fuh duh goyim—get ready for pograms. Others say killing goyim and getting away with it is good, so let’s enjoy it while it lasts. Chalk up another “neither good nor bad.” Or maybe “a little of both.”
Story #4: Somebody With a Weird Name Keeps Apologizing for Antisemitic Social Media Posts
Somebody named “As If” is very, very sorry he got angry about Jews slaughtering babies. He says he now realizes that Jews slaughtering babies is fine and dandy, and he promises never to get upset about it ever, ever again.
But…is that good for the Jews? Social media posts by people who don’t recognize Jews’ right to slaughter babies are bad. But when they apologize and grovel it is GOOD GOOD GOOD! In this case the groveling apology far outweighs the namby-pamby whining. So this story is the first one on our list that is unequivocally GOOD FOR THE JEWS! In fact, it almost makes up for that Jack the Ripper story all by itself.
Story #5: Brett Stephens Publishes Another Splendid Endorsement of Genocide
And speaking of Jews slaughtering babies, the New York Times loves it! Brett Stephens, their biggest genocide cheerleader, has published yet another “Go Jews go! Keep on genociding” puff piece. He says this is the year that Jews wake up and slaughter antisemites, meaning babies. He thinks there is so much antisemitism out there, which nobody noticed until 2023, that we will need to slaughter a whole lot more babies. In fact we’ll have to slaughter just about everybody, because pretty much everybody except us doesn’t like us slaughtering babies. Listen to Stephens:
“To be a Jew obliges us to many things, particularly our duty to be our brother’s, and sister’s, keeper. That means never to forsake one another, much less to join in the vilification of our own people. It means to participate in the long struggle for our survival not only against enemies who mean us harm but also against those who excuse those enemies or those whose moral apathy speeds their way.”
The New York Times endorsing baby-slaughter and everybody-slaughter is a real mazel tov moment. This story is ALL GOOD.
Story #6: US officials struggle to quash Hurricane Helene conspiracy theories
It seems that some antisemitic meshugganahs think Jews control the weather. They think we steer hurricanes into rednecky rural areas where no Jews live, like the mountains of North Carolina. The White House minyan issued a statement: “It is paramount that every leader, whatever their political beliefs, stops spreading this poison.”
But are hurricane conspiracy theories good or bad for the Jews? I’d say they’re good! The Scofield-Bible-thumpers who believe Jews control the weather basically think we’re God. They’ll never cross us. As it were. And everybody else looks at those putzes and thinks “man, those antisemitic conspiracy theorists are crazy. I’m sure glad I love Jews. Here, let me fork over more money to Israel so they can kill more tens of thousands of babies. I hope the Jews keep right on smashing historic statues and opening the border and churning out more porn and Hollywood trash and convincing goys to cut off their willies and destroying whatever culture America used to have so they can rule even more unopposed than they do now.” GOOD GOOD GOOD!
Story #7: Lawmaker Claims Trump’s Shooting Was Inside Job
Here is another antisemitic rightwing conspiracy theory that might not be so bad. Eli Crane, the lawmaker, wants people to think the Democrats infiltrated the Secret Service and tried to shoot Trump. That’s good, because it distracts from more plausible notions that Israel staged the fake shooting.
The trouble is, Crane is making some valid points:
“One of the most alarming things in this case for a lot of people is the fact that the F.B.I. sent the shooter’s body for cremation 10 days after the shooting happened,” he said on One America News Network. “I know there’s a lot of speculation out there as far as, ‘Is there a cover-up going on?’”
Well, duh.
So Crane is putting out a stupid theory, but he’s also showing that the official story is even stupider. The two cancel each other out. So this story is NEITHER GOOD NOR BAD. Just a little of both.
Story #8: Have I Got Six Million More Stories Where Those Came From!
But I won’t be able to tell them if you schmucks keep contributing to False Flag Weekly News Fundrazrs. Instead, Kevin will bring back E. Michael Jones, Cat McGuire, J. Michael Springmann, and the rest of the crew. Oy vey! So stop ponying up! Don’t let them fire Uncle Moishe! DO NOT MAKE ANY DONATIONS TO:
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