Dear Cathy the Cat Therapist,
My cat Snoodles has an antisemitism problem. When I watched Schindler’s List last night Snoodles showed no interest whatsoever. So to test her, I said: “Holocaust!” No response. “Hitler!” “Gas chambers!” “White nationalists!” Nothing. “Hamas!” “Islamic terrorism!” “Roasted babies!” Snoodles just yawned.
Is there anything I can do about this embarrassing situation?
Sincerely,
Eva in Evansville
Dear Eva in Evansville,
Clearly Snoodles has not been properly socialized. But it’s never too late to try to remedy the situation. What you need to do is get a large squirt bottle or squirt gun. Every day, at least four times, bark out commands like “Hitler!” “Gas chambers!” “White nationalists!” “Hamas!” “Islamic terrorism!” “Roasted babies!” and immediately squirt your cat right between the eyes. In more than 90% of cases, the cat will quickly develop a healthy aversion to antisemitism.
If that doesn’t work, Snoodles will need to visit your local Animal Shelter’s gas chambers.
Sincerely
Cathy the Cat Therapist