The Zionists finally convinced me they’re right. Here are the top ten reasons.
10) Hitler, Pol Pot, Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun all killed more people than Israel has. So why are you singling out Israel for criticism, you anti-Semite?
9) If you don’t accept our legitimacy, our friend Samson will nuke every major city in Europe. How’s THAT for legitimacy, you Jew-hater!
8) In 1947, the United Nations General Assembly “advised” stealing the 90% of Palestine owned by Palestinians, and giving most of it to the Jews. So why shouldn’t we follow their advice? Do you hate the United Nations? What are you, anti-Semitic or something?
7) Sure, the United Nations has passed lots of actual, legally-binding resolutions (not just “advice”) ordering Israel to let the Palestinians return to their homes and villages. But if we did that, what would have been the point of slaughtering them and terrorizing the survivors into fleeing? You and the United Nations and the whole world must be really anti-Semitic to suggest such a thing.
6) Hitler and the Germans killed a lot of Jews during World War II, and it must have somehow been the Palestinians’ fault! Only an anti-Semite would doubt that!
5) Anyone who questions Israel’s legitimacy, like Helen Thomas did, gets fired because they must be anti-Semitic. What more proof of legitimacy do you need?
4) A lot of countries are worse than Israel. But there you go again, criticizing Israel! Oy vey, why do you hate the Jews so much?
3) Every ethnic group deserves to have its own state…except for the other 24,999, non-chosen ones. If you disagree, you must be some kind of Nazi.
2) According to our tribal mythology, God gave us this land. And anyone who doubts our tribal mythology must really, REALLY hate the Jews!
1) We own the media, Hollywood, the banking system, Congress, and the White House. If we said the Fishy-Smelling Underwater Kingdom of Atlantis was a legitimate state, and a giant squid was its prime minister, we could make you believe us.