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Shameless chutzpah: Could it work for Muslims too?

As an American Muslim, I am a great admirer of the Jewish people, especially American Jews. I think we Muslims can learn a lot from the way Jews have made their presence felt in American society.
For example, I marvel at the chutzpah of the Beth Shalom Temple in Corona, California, which recently tried to shake down Mel Gibson:

“Our proposal to you, Mr. Gibson, is since you have been cited as an Anti-Semitic, and have denied those allegations, what better way to prove to all your fans and the nay Sayers — than to endorse and help raise funds for our cause — SOS, Save Our Synagogue…Mr. Gibson, we offer you to be a Mensch and make a sizable contribution to our cause.”

I imagine the folks at Beth Shalom Temple need the money for their PR campaign against anti-Semitism. They plan to run ads insisting that contrary to the pernicious stereotypes in films like Mel Brooks’ The Producers, Jews are NOT shameless, pushy, money-grubbing opportunists.

If they can pry a few more million dollars loose from Gibson, the next step will be to hire America’s latest Jewish overnight sensation, Andrew “assassinate Obama for Israel’ Adler, to host a series of ads proving that American Jews do NOT harbor dual loyalties.  Adler is the ultimate example of an American who clearly harbors loyalty to only one country. By flooding prime-time TV with images of Adler calling on Israel to assassinate Obama, the BS Temple PR pros should be able to finish off that “dual loyalties” canard once and for all.

And so…if shameless chutzpah pays off for Jews, why not for Muslims too? How about:

Dear Bill Maher, 

Our proposal to you, since you have been cited as an Islamophobe, is to send us a million dollars and publicly apologize for calling Muslims a bunch of violent extremists. If you don’t do this, we’ll come and blow you up. 

Sincerely,

Dr. Kevin Barrett

And since just about all of the wealthy and powerful individuals and institutions in America are islamophobic, we should be able to shake them all down.

Then we’ll take the billions we’ve raised, and buy up the media. We’ll make sure that Muslims get the majority of key posts, and that a pro-Muslim, anti-Zionist point of view completely dominates the airwaves and headlines.

And we’ll use the rest of the money to buy up Congress and the presidency.

And then if anybody even MENTIONS the fact that Muslims have bought up the media and staffed it with a wildly disproportionate number of Muslims and anti-Zionists…and that anti-Zionist Muslims have bought the federal government via bribery…we’ll just silence them by calling them Islamophobes.

Now THAT would be al-chutzpah al-akbar.

8 Thoughts to “Shameless chutzpah: Could it work for Muslims too?”

  1. Anonymous

    Muslims will never have the chutzpah to print the money supply.

  2. Anonymous

    Dr. Barrett, haven't you learned? If Jews do something bad, you are not allowed to mention it. You are opening yourself to charges of anti-Semitism.

  3. Anonymous

    In addition to calling them Islamophobes, we should brand them as "conspiracy theorist" these two terms have a magic power to silence the most intelligent and eloquent of critics.

  4. Anonymous 2, you've misunderstood the piece. I sincerely admire many Jewish qualities, including humor and chutzpah. I really do wish Muslims had more chutzpah. Since Jews appear to have more chutzpah than they really need, maybe they could lend half their chutzpah to the chutzpah-deprived Muslims? Sounds like a deal! Unfortunately the negotiations might break down over the question of interest. Muslims are against usury, and besides they don't have enough chutzpah to pay interest on a big chutzpah loan; while the Jews would undoubtedly have the chutzpah to insist on a high chutzpah interest rate on their chutzpah loan. Since the chutzpah-loan negotiations would undoubtedly turn out to be even more hopeless than the Mideast peace negotiations, maybe we'd better just forget the whole thing.

  5. excellent pay 30 trillions (that's for all the 'antisemites' like you gibson) or chutzpah bibi will blow you up

    before we'll chutzpah write an excellent article in the atlanta jewish times announcing it… pay or we blow you up

    The chutzpah voice of the Zedekiah cave fools under Jerusalem

  6. Anonymous

    I was not sure what Chutzpah means so had a look at the Wiki. Rosten gives this example of the meaning of Chutzpah ::

    "that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan."

    Does that sound about right?

  7. Anonymous

    What's the Arabic word for "mensch"?

    For you to equate "give us money and we'll call you a mensch" with "give us money or we'll blow you up" is typical Barrett blovibiousity.

  8. Anonymous

    Mensch is the German word for human being. American jews who speak Yiddish embue the word 'mensch' with more meaning than it has. Yiddish is a dialect of German. It is not related to Hebrew.

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