ADL head Jonathan Greenblatt has announced a plan to capitalize on the explosive growth of antisemitism by selling a new line of pagers specifically designed for people Jews don’t like. The pagers will be 100% kosher, blessed by genocidal rabbis, and distributed to the billions of people around the world who frown on genocide.
“Despite their low cost, these pagers will be made out of the highest quality explosives, I mean, materials,” Greenblatt explained. “We’re sure that antisemites will enjoy their special features.”
Greenblatt predicted that after he blows up Earth’s roughly four billion antisemites, the remaining four billion goyim will get the message and realize that Jews are actually very nice people.