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Bill Gates Apologizes for Smallpox Vial in his Refrigerator

Dissociated Press Emerging disease magnate Bill Gates has issued a heartfelt apology for keeping a vial of smallpox virus in his refrigerator. At a press conference held at the spaceport on the roof of his 300-acre Seattle mansion, Gates explained that he simply likes to collect things, especially rare and dangerous diseases, and that he never intended to uncork the vial and unleash the scourge—at least not unless his bioweapon/vaccine depopulation efforts fail. The smallpox vial was discovered by one of Gates’ maids while she was cleaning the filthy, mold-encrusted refrigerator. A tearful Gates, trying his best to sob exactly…

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