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Coronavirus Urged to Wash Hands and Self-Quarantine After Trump-Bolsinaro Handshake

Dissociated Press The World Health Organization issued a directive this morning urging an unfortunate coronavirus caught between the sweaty palms of the US and Brazilian presidents to wash its hands and quarantine itself. “We don’t know what this coronavirus may have picked up from its intimate contact with two of the world’s most virulently toxic organisms,” explained WHO spokeperson Dr. Pew Triddley Stan-Jiang. “But whatever it is, it can’t be good. The coronavirus needs to vigorously scrub its hands, or more accurately its spike proteins, with pure bleach for a minimum of twenty minutes. Then it must locomote itself to…